I just got back from 10 days in Italy and the region and overheard someone using the term "faux diplomacy" in the airport. I like the phrase! This got me thinking about one of the most common differences between great managers and lousy ones - great managers don't do faux.

To be fair, faux moments are common and everyone has them. I define faux as: not genuine, fake, false, or an imitation. Faux is great for warm coats, terrible for management. We are all faux some of the time - not intentionally (most of us), but sometimes our words and deeds don't square up. We come across as fake or not genuine. It takes a lot of energy to be real because we must constantly filter our decisions and actions through the lenses of our stated purpose, values, and intentions. Although we might all be born as real, our cultures quickly complicate things by teaching us the short-term and long-term benefits of being political, evasive, sketchy, closed, and at arm's distance. The rewards of being real often outweigh those that come from faux actions, but faux tends to feel more immediately profitable - more glitter.

We love highly flawed characters in the movies and we love them in person. We would much rather be lead by a real manager who seems at peace to be vulnerable, open, and fallible. We ache to be lead by those who are driven to do great work, even when something less is easier and more consistent with the workplace culture. We gain inspiration from the moments of truth that tell us our manager is willing to fight for what's important and that he or she has our backs.

  • Faux diplomacy occurs when we say we care about the relationship but don't demonstrate this.
  • Faux management occurs when we approach management as a title or right versus a privilege and a chance to serve others.
  • Faux purpose occurs when our deepest motivations, and our organization's, don't ignite and engage our employees.

When people are truly at the core of your concerns and when you know and show your interest and commitment and when you are in awe of the big "whys" for your business, then real will be front and center and faux will fade to a faint shadow (never disappearing, for it will always tempt us).

If you are like most managers, you have several meetings coming up over the next couple of days. What's on the agenda and how can you reinforce real over faux?