Marketing departments in all kinds of companies are using the power of being 'personal' as a way to attract customers and win business.  Personalized profiles are all the rage in outbound marketing.  We insert recipients' names into email campaigns that are tailored to what we assume are their requirements, thanks to a tailored sentence or two.

Somehow - that doesn't seem like a truly personal approach.  A mass production of 'personalized' information is just that - a mass communication.  Customers and prospects, friends and family see right through those approaches, especially when we aren't thoughtful about our personalization.

Sometimes, we just plain blow it.

My name gives me lots of opportunities to experience pretty poor attempts at personal communication. The emails claiming to be an old friend of Mr. Rebel Brown always give me a giggle.  Then there's the offers of all those boy toys that companies just know Mr. Rebel wants.  That's a problem born of assumption - so we'll leave it at that and suggest care in assuming anything.

Then there are the communications that don't mess up my name - but fail at the personal equation.  One professional has sent me the same holiday email, with the same picture for four years running. Each year their message is the same.  "I wanted to share my best wishes with you for your new year, and thank you for your support of my business this year." Blah blah, I delete them  - and by the 2nd year, I stopped doing business with that professional.  Somehow, I just didn't feel special.

Bob Burg recommends a great approach.

If you're trying to connect on a more personal level with your audience, then really be personal. He suggests we write personal thank you notes to those who touch our lives.  I did this for decades, taking time to personally thank each and every client and partner who helped me through the year.  I fell out of the habit a few years back when I was sick for a while.  But now I'm thanking folks personally again - with emails and kind gestures. For those who really touch my world, I'm sharing a gift that keeps on giving, thanks to Colin Lewis and Wisdom Notes.

For a large business, that may seem daunting, but it's not. If everyone steps up to communicate with their own focused audience in ways that really matter to that audience - it's an easy and powerful approach to truly connecting  with each audience member.

So what's my point?

Stop trying to act like you're personally communicating in a mass way.  Take the time and effort to truly be personal with your audiences. Yes, it will consume more resources and time. But the results will more than cover those extra costs - you'll be distinct simply  because of that personal touch.  Always remember, business is done on a personal level.

While you're at it,  do the same in your relationships .  Don't be the guy who acts like he's your best friend for show in front of the boss - but who really doesn't know a thing about you. 

Faking it doesn't work.

You're either truly taking the time to communicate with someone in a personal and relevant way - or you're not.  Its obvious to your audience which you're doing -and the repercussions will follow.

Stop faking it in that middle ground.  It's insulting and it drives people away from your business and you.  Just like it drives me away from anyone who calls Mr. Rebel his or her friend.